Ruminations

The chewy thoughts of a queer Christian

Feel really gay

Summer has just hit this country really, really hard. It is the time of year when all those people who have been dutiful to their gym memberships peel off their shirts and reveal the tattoos and muscles you don’t get to see the rest of the year. It is the time of year when shorts go on instead of trousers. Suddenly everyone looks really gorgeous.

That is as long as the sun lasts.

Still from Summer Storm

Summer Storm: a great German film about boys in love in summer. Coincidence? I think not.

I am feeling exceptionally single and it seems I’ve got the wanting lens in semi-permanently. Still I know that as soon as I process my feelings I realise that I am looking because, really, I want a relationship and that doesn’t happen by staring at people on the train or on the street. That is, in fact, creepy, no matter what my imagination tells me about the consequences.

So I go on living my single life. *Sigh*

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4 thoughts on “Feel really gay

  1. God will bring someone special into your life at just the right time. His timing is perfect, not to soon and not too late.

    I just want to thank you so much for your blog posts. You just have a wonderful way with words and articulating what gay men go through. I started from your first post and am reading every one of them (I will finish all them when I have time). Each one is so different and inspired but also so honest and open. Keep up the wonderful work!

  2. Thank you Wow I feel honoured =)
    I just wonder though, how much we should trust in God to bless us – like the birds in the field – and when we should take the initiative to knock, find and seek.

    • It can be hard to know what is our role in the relationship is and what God’s role in the relationship is. From my experience, I feel God wants us to take a leap of faith in one direction when He has not told us what to do so He can see if we trust Him. After we take a leap of faith, He can then redirect us in the way He would want us to go.

      When it comes to finding another guy to be in a relationship with, my advice would be to seek first God’s Kingdom and what God is calling you to do for Him.
      Luke 12:29-30 says “And don’t be concerned about what to eat and what to drink. Don’t worry about such things. These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers all over the world, but your Father already knows your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and he will give you everything you need” (NLT).
      When we seek to do God’s will, we will continue to grow and become more like Christ while in the process getting us ready for a relationship. I would say be open to friendships with other gay guys but continue to do what God is laying on your heart. I hope this helps.

  3. Yeah wow that’s great advice. Thank you. My prayers at the moment are for understanding more clearly what God wants of me in the world, for a calling I guess. Just have to keep on pushing 🙂

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