Ruminations

The chewy thoughts of a queer Christian

What am I living for?

I recently had a conversation with some friends. They were feeling old; one of them was soon to turn 30 and the other was pondering having his first child. Time was ticking on and he was beginning to ask himself if there were things he might never get the chance to do. It struck me really deep and I started to ask myself some tough questions.

What do I want to do before I die? What am I living for?

I have always been impressed by people who seize life by the horns and just enjoy it. The kind of people who see or think of something really fun and just do it. I am impressed by them because I am not one of them.

Do I enjoy living?

I tend to lean towards the serious side. People who seek out highs and then realise that thrills are not where it’s at say that the important things in life are the ones you work towards, put effort into, like family and a relationship with God. St. Paul says something like, ‘don’t get drunk on wine, get drunk on God’.

That’s me. I’m the person who sees through all that and goes for the serious stuff. But somewhere along the line I feel like my appreciation of more simple (?) pleasures has been impeded. It’s like I’ve matured too fast and skipped out the crazy youth part where you learn by experience not to drink too much and party too hard.

So what kind of stuff do I want to do before I die?

1) Climb more mountains

2) Meet Mr. Right (is that something I do, or something that happens..?)

3) Write a book (when the time is right)

Hm. What’s on your bucket list? What are you living for?

Bucket List

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3 thoughts on “What am I living for?

  1. Do them now… the best writer in the world could be out there and we may never hear about her/him because he/she is too lazy to sit down and just write.
    I like climbing mountains, so that’s a good thing in your list… as for mister right… well, its a combination of both… You do by living your life, and it happens by meeting him during that, it is how you know it is compatible for you, by appearing while you do something you love

  2. I’ve been pondering this question for years now. It wasn’t until last year when I sat down and drew up a list of all of the things I want to do before I die.. and came up with over 2,000 things. I plan to revisit the list and (hopefully) narrow it down in a few weeks- exactly a year after writing it, just to see if anything has changed, or if I’ve become more realistic since that first draft.

    One major point I can relate with is the writing thing. I keep waiting around for the “right time”, and I’m starting to find that like most things, there is no ideal time.

    I’m personally looking for “Mrs. Right”, but same concept. I’m convinced she’s out there and we’ll just collide one day… I’m taking the passive approach because I think that’s the type of love I’m looking for- something completely unintentional and spontaneous.

    Climbing more mountains is more like “climb a hill” for me. I’m working on rekindling my love for nature and fitness.

    I did enjoy your list, and it’s gotten me pumped for reviewing my own soon.

  3. So, a number of signs directing me to start properly writing… Honestly speaking, this blog was a step in that direction, writing to see what people like, writing to develop a style, writing to see how my thoughts look in written form. Maybe there really is no time like the present…

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