Ruminations

The chewy thoughts of a queer Christian

Archive for the tag “doubt”

Whack-a-mole

Sometimes my faith life is like playing whack-a-mole. As soon as you knock one doubt, or concern, or problem on the head, another one emerges somewhere else.

Today I realised I may never reach the ideal point that I wanted, the point where there are no more moles. I may never have it all figured out. Maybe I don’t need to have all the creases ironed out in order to have a faith I can be proud of, a faith that works, a faith that is enough.

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Foolishness

For the message of the Cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God.

– 1 Corintians 1:18

Every time I try to think of how I might communicate my belief in Jesus, I feel like a fool. My head tells me that what I am saying, or thinking, sounds ridiculous. But my heart says, you know what happened – why can’t you say it?

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Bad Religion

I have been looking for a church to settle in recently. It has got me thinking about the way we think about church and spirituality and how we think about being Christian today.  For one thing, I find that I initially had to tread very carefully into the world of organised religion. There is a such thing as bad religion and I do not intend to get caught up in it. But the question is, how much of Christianity today is bad religion?

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Prodigal/Lost

The parable of the prodigal son (also known as the lost son) is a famous story. A father left his inheritance to two sons. The younger of the sons was itching to go out and use it, to spend it: so he went abroad, and wasted his money on whores and fast living. Meanwhile the older son cautiously bade his time and tended to his father’s land. Eventually, of course the younger son ran out of money, so he took on back-breaking work. But the pay was barely enough to live off. He was starving, and eventually came to the realization that if he were to survive, he would have to return and repent to his father.

So he came home. And rather than facing the wrath of a very angry man, his father was overjoyed and held a massive celebration for the returning son. But his brother was less pleased by his reappearance. “You never allowed me a calf so I could celebrate with my friends. What gives?” To which the father replied, “I always have you around. But we had to celebrate: your brother was lost and now is found.”

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