The chewy thoughts of a queer Christian

Archive for the tag “faith”


Sometimes my faith life is like playing whack-a-mole. As soon as you knock one doubt, or concern, or problem on the head, another one emerges somewhere else.

Today I realised I may never reach the ideal point that I wanted, the point where there are no more moles. I may never have it all figured out. Maybe I don’t need to have all the creases ironed out in order to have a faith I can be proud of, a faith that works, a faith that is enough.

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Processing Jesus: Pt III – Way, Truth, Life

I have been trying to put my faith into words. It’s been hard, because I often find that when talking about Jesus, my words carry meanings that I don’t want them to. Words like being “born again” or “saved” just don’t do it justice. But by carefully defining the words ‘faith’ and ‘belief’ I think I’ve started to make some progress.

I decided in the last couple of days that simply saying ‘I believe in Jesus’ is enough. That expresses my religious faith at the moment. If I had to explain why I believe in Jesus it would get harder, but for now I have a formulation that I like.

But I still have problems.

This is part three of a three-part series. Part I here and Part II here.

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Processing Jesus Part I: Belief

Christians believe in Jesus, and Christians are saved by faith. This is how many people see it. If you don’t believe in Jesus, or if you don’t have the right faith, you are not saved. Now that I’m starting to see myself as a Christian I have to process this and decide where I stand on it. And I’ve decided to blog on this in three parts. First I want to look at the word ‘belief’ because there is a lot that people don’t understand about this idea. Second, I want to look at the idea of ‘faith’, because it is so central to Christianity – and all religion – and it can be seen in a lot of different ways. After that will I be able to explore my faith in and belief about Jesus more clearly.

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Bad Religion

I have been looking for a church to settle in recently. It has got me thinking about the way we think about church and spirituality and how we think about being Christian today.  For one thing, I find that I initially had to tread very carefully into the world of organised religion. There is a such thing as bad religion and I do not intend to get caught up in it. But the question is, how much of Christianity today is bad religion?

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All the world’s a stage,
And all the men and women merely players:
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts

– William Shakespeare, As You Like It

The film Black Swan by Darren Aronofsky tells the story of ballet dancer Nina. Throughout the film, Nina is desperately trying to let go of her restrictive, perfectionist, ‘good girl’ self in order to properly portray the seductive black swan in her dance company’s production of Swan Lake. One haunting moment in the film shows Nina taunted by voices calling her “sweet girl! sweet girl!”.

In this moment, Nina was doing something I call rescripting herself.

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The Ex-Gay Debate: Pt I – Is Gay a Kind of Person?

I promised I would eventually post about why I don’t believe in ex-gay ministry or in reparative therapy. This is a really huge topic so I will split this into three parts. Part I investigates one of the fundamental assumptions at the heart of the discussion. In Part II I will tell my experience of how the Unification Church handles homosexuality. Part III will be about change and why I don’t believe in ex-gay ministry and reparative therapy.

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The parable of the prodigal son (also known as the lost son) is a famous story. A father left his inheritance to two sons. The younger of the sons was itching to go out and use it, to spend it: so he went abroad, and wasted his money on whores and fast living. Meanwhile the older son cautiously bade his time and tended to his father’s land. Eventually, of course the younger son ran out of money, so he took on back-breaking work. But the pay was barely enough to live off. He was starving, and eventually came to the realization that if he were to survive, he would have to return and repent to his father.

So he came home. And rather than facing the wrath of a very angry man, his father was overjoyed and held a massive celebration for the returning son. But his brother was less pleased by his reappearance. “You never allowed me a calf so I could celebrate with my friends. What gives?” To which the father replied, “I always have you around. But we had to celebrate: your brother was lost and now is found.”

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