The chewy thoughts of a queer Christian

Archive for the tag “life”

Did God make me gay?

Suddenly it really matters. Read more…



What am I living for?

I recently had a conversation with some friends. They were feeling old; one of them was soon to turn 30 and the other was pondering having his first child. Time was ticking on and he was beginning to ask himself if there were things he might never get the chance to do. It struck me really deep and I started to ask myself some tough questions.

What do I want to do before I die? What am I living for?

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All the world’s a stage,
And all the men and women merely players:
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts

– William Shakespeare, As You Like It

The film Black Swan by Darren Aronofsky tells the story of ballet dancer Nina. Throughout the film, Nina is desperately trying to let go of her restrictive, perfectionist, ‘good girl’ self in order to properly portray the seductive black swan in her dance company’s production of Swan Lake. One haunting moment in the film shows Nina taunted by voices calling her “sweet girl! sweet girl!”.

In this moment, Nina was doing something I call rescripting herself.

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Life Paths

I just logged in to facebook and found out that a young man I knew a few years ago has passed away. He was engaged to be married. He was intelligent, funny, innocent and, in the last few posts on his wall, made incredibly deep commentaries on spirituality. I am in shock.

I’ve been meeting and making so many friends recently, while also recognising that many of the connections I have made in the past are being severed. Our life paths diverge, cross and end at unexpected times. When people are born or pass on the Source is watching over it all. What does it look like? A perfect system, or maybe more like a tangle of threads?

God bless you my friend.

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