The chewy thoughts of a queer Christian

Archive for the tag “Shakespeare”


All the world’s a stage,
And all the men and women merely players:
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts

– William Shakespeare, As You Like It

The film Black Swan by Darren Aronofsky tells the story of ballet dancer Nina. Throughout the film, Nina is desperately trying to let go of her restrictive, perfectionist, ‘good girl’ self in order to properly portray the seductive black swan in her dance company’s production of Swan Lake. One haunting moment in the film shows Nina taunted by voices calling her “sweet girl! sweet girl!”.

In this moment, Nina was doing something I call rescripting herself.

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The Wanting Lens

Urban dictionary defines gaydar thus:

The ability/gift of being able to detect homosexuality in other people.

When I was coming out to myself, I would notice gay people in the street or on the train sometimes. I was scared of becoming like them: effeminate, fashionable, and… there was something else. An odd something I couldn’t quite put my finger on that I knew I didn’t want to embody and somehow associated with gayness. I now, however, have a name for it. It is The Wanting Lens. The funny thing is, I assumed that everyone with The Wanting Lens was gay, and did not even consider the multitude of gay men (closeted or otherwise) that passed under the radar completely.

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